You know when you grow up you always have dreams of who you might end up to be, where you might work or how you want your life to pan out? I always imagined I’d get a chance to live by myself at some point in a lovely apartment and be the working city gal I always wanted to be. I guess I made it.
Living in disgusting accommodation and being surrounded by messy and ok, filthy people at university planted the seed in my head that I could NEVER live life like that again.
When I bought my apartment last year and fled the nest for keeps, I didn’t really know what to expect. Would I like it? WHAT WOULD I DO IF THERE WAS GHOSTS? Would I still be able to afford ASOS orders on the regular?
I feel like nowadays there is this undue pressure that YOU should be living with a partner by now. You should be married and have kids. You should only buy with a partner because it makes it cheaper for you and you don’t have to save as much. It’s rubbish.
Life has changed these days and there is no set pattern to do things in. You certainly don’t need no man or woman to keep you, and being independent is by far one of the greatest luxuries in life. 2018 allows us to be independent women or men, live selfishly, and actually not have children if we don’t want to.
So if you’re currently thinking about leaving home, but don’t think you’re ready/don’t have someone to commit with, here’s what I have learnt about living by myself.
Ok, so let’s cut to the chase and start off with the cons. It isn’t all going to be good, but it certainly isn’t all bad either.
-The bills. OH, the bills. That’s electricity, council tax (single rate), water, service charges, FOOD, insurance. The list has no end. You ain’t got anybody to split it with. Those letters you wished for as a child are yours now. When your electricity bill gets escalated to over £118 a month for one person, £60 MORE – you know those long hot lush baths have got to stop, but also that there is no one else to blame for the usage. Sucks to be me.
-If there’s a problem, you have to fix it. You can either see this as a bad thing or something good. I had to be in the driving seat for sorting out my mortgage, solicitors, developer etc out and it was me that was having to overcome my phone anxiety every single time, you can’t get your mum to do it for you.
I didn’t become an adult until I had to deal with this and everything that followed once I moved in. There will always be issues whether you’re in rented accommodation or you’re a homeowner, but it’s how you react to them that’s important. Everything is a learning curve and is dealt to you for some reason. You just gotta embrace it.
-Loneliness. I truly embrace being alone now as I do enjoy the peace and quiet. Having said that, sometimes it’s tough, especially if I don’t have plans on a Saturday night, I’m poorly or I’m having a bad day. You don’t get to share your life with someone after you shut your door after a day at work. There’s no one to listen to you when you’ve had a bad day or you need to get something off your chest.
Having said that, it’s up to you to do something about it. Friends and family are always on the end of the other line, and it may actually make you *cough me* do something other than get into your pjs at 6pm.
Oh, the pros. I could certainly talk about them all day, but here’s a few of the best.
-You get to starfish your double bed EVERY single night. There is no greater feeling than your bed absorbing you after a tiring day. Fresh sheets and clean PJS too, now we’re talking.
-Eat what you want, when you want. No one can judge your bagel and marmite situation for tea on a Tuesday at 7pm because cba to cook. You do you. Neither do you end up bingeing each night with Netflix because your bf thinks it’s normal to eat bags of Doritos and packets of biscuits every night. Hello 2 stone weight gain.
-It’s just peace and quiet. Who actually wants to talk about their day at work when they get home? Not me. There is no stress, there is no one to answer to, you only have to please yourself and your thoughts. Life doesn’t get much simpler.
-You actually have to adult, and it’s actually OK. Taking the reigns and living by yourself puts you in control, no one else is there to make the decisions or act for you. Just make sure your Mum is on speed dial if your ham went out of date yesterday and you’re checking if you can still eat it.
If you’re living with someone, to a certain extent one or the other will always take the lead, but when it’s just you, you only have to rely on yourself. Living by myself for over a year has been the best decision I’ve ever made, I’ve grown so much as a person, learnt so much about adult life and how to get actual nutrients into my body that aren’t just tomato, cheese and bread (that’s a pizza).
-Your place, your rules. Having your own place allows you to do the most questionable things without being judged. Leave your dirty washing on the floor for 7 days? Fine. Watching the Corrie omnibus every weekend even though you’ve already seen the episodes twice already that week. Sitting on a stool by your door to listen to the drama kicking off on the street? Go for it. You get to live in your own little bubble and it’s the best thing ever.
-You might live by yourself, but it isn’t a prison sentence. You can see your friends and invite anyone over whenever you want. It’s not like you’re going to live in the outer Hebrides for the rest of your life. Living by yourself is the only time you can truly get away from people in this connected generation, and let me tell you, enjoy every second of it.
-You can do as much online shopping as you want, redirect it to your work address and no one ever knows about it! Such magic. Same goes for takeaways, who needs electricity anyway, eh?
It’s not until you write out your pros and cons that you realise just how flippin’ amazing living by yourself is. It’s the independence and continual learning that you just don’t get when you’re sprung into living with friends/partners straight away. My apartment is a constant reminder of everything I’ve worked so hard far, and there really isn’t a better feeling than that. Sole living, I love ya.
On that note, have a fab Bank Holiday weekend, I’m suffering from a chest infection so have naturally jumped ship to my parents for the evening. That’s the beauty of living by yourself, you get to come and go as you please.
Have you/ would you want to live by yourself?