I think you either sit in two camps as a person. 1) You thrive off company and don’t like being alone or 2) You love being alone. I mean there might be some middle ground between the two, but it’s also kinda like you either don’t drink alcohol or you only drink to get smashed. See what I mean?
The best thing about being a human is you can do what you like, be with who you want to be, but also be alone a lot of the time, and that’s fine too. I have always liked my own company, but equally loved being with friends and always doing something and rushing to somewhere. We’re millenials, we like to always look busy, even if we’re not.
When I lived in Finland for a year and was forced into a spiralling dark hole of loneliness, homesickness and culture shock, I suddenly couldn’t cope. I didn’t know how to be by myself. I hated my own company, I wanted something, anything to be dragged away from my thoughts, and ‘jail like’ room which I admittedly didn’t leave very much. I totally didn’t help myself. The darkness didn’t help, neither did the -30 degree temperatures. But it was hard, and also a learning curve I will never forget. In learning how to be at one with yourself, and be happy with that.
So much emphasis is always put on going out, doing things, being WITH people and making more friends. Those things are great, but there’s so much importance to being content in your own company first. If you can nail and enjoy that, then social gatherings, and going out should be a breeze. But you’ll equally look forward to those times when it’s just you too.
The thought of moving into my own home in March by myself scared me just a little. I was worried it would be like uni all over again, and it wasn’t just the fact that I could only cook beans on toast that scared me.
I was also surprised by the amount of people who asked whether I would be scared or lonely living by myself. FACT, TIME WAITS FOR NOBODY. Why can a girl not buy a property and live in it by herself, without it being questioned? It’s honestly to me the most normal, and sensible thing to do.
And THIS is the misconception, that if you’re by yourself or live by yourself you’re lonely and sad. Not an independent young person who’s ready to take on the world and don’t need nobody, and someone who really really loves every inch of themselves. It’s taken me time to realise, but it speaks more about the people that ask these questions than about yourself.
Because a lot of people feel uncomfortable in being alone. Admittedly, it once was for me. I now cherish those moments of quiet when I get home, I’m so busy *cleaning*, making my lunch for the next day that those thoughts from the day don’t even get a look in. I’m happy in having a Lush bath and jumping on the sofa in the peace. Bashing out a blog post and sinking into a double bed by myself at 10pm. Living. The. Dream.
Your own company doesn’t necessarily mean having to sit on the sofa by yourself every evening. It’s going for a walk by yourself, sitting in a cafe and doing some work and not caring or wondering if people are thinking why you’re by yourself.
It’s travelling the world by yourself and not knowing what adventures or people you’ll meet along the way will be. It’s about having the time of your life and creating your own memories, without the need for someone to help or tell you where your journey should take you.
Life is too short to live up to peoples expectations that aren’t your own. Wanting to do something, but not having anyone to do it with, so you don’t. Not making that plunge to move out because you’re waiting for Mr Perfect to come along.
Only you can make yourself happy and that starts from within. Being content by yourself is the elusive start of that path to self love, and something that has really fallen into place for me this year.
Go chase your dreams, do things for yourself, stop thinking you need to please others and just be content. Grab every opportunity by the hand that comes along, even if that means doing something by yourself, for yourself. Happiness starts with you.
T-shirt – Zara
Cardigan – River Island
Jeans – Topshop
Bag – Zara
Converse – Asos