I can barely believe as I’m writing this that I’ve now been in my apartment for 6 months. 6 months of mortgage repayments, 6 months still without TV, 6 months of of wondering what the hell I’m doing and 6 months worth of lessons I’ve learnt the hard way. One’s I won’t make again. Oh, and 6 months spent to fill my home with copper, pink and white, so there’s that.
So far I’ve cut through onto my new kitchen worktop, chipped the worktop, sliced my hand open with a bread knife, burnt a tea towel on the hob ETC. Am I just clumsy or no? Or is this me doing everything my mum used to do for me and learning as I go? Moving out is a bit like when you pass your driving test, you have all the skills to be road worthy, but you don’t start really learning until it’s just you in the car with Heart blaring on the radio. It’s both scary and exhilarating by yourself, with plenty of mistakes and near misses to be made. Moving out is exactly like that.
As expected there has been some euphoric highs and devastating lows. Everything will suddenly be back on track and then someone shouts HERE HAVE SOME MORE SHIT. That is the worst. Just waiting for what the next thing to come along is. I guess that’s life and life goes on, but it sucks. I feel like there is always something to go wrong or stress about as a homeowner. I’ve learnt a lot, but I think these 4 things stand out to me most.
Lesson 1 Learnt – Nothing Stays Nice Forever/ Accidents Happen
It’s like that brand new white raincoat you buy and truly adore, you couldn’t imagine anything bad happening to this baby. Within the week it’s been stained. It’s hard to accept, they’ll be tears, but nothing can stay nice forever, however hard that is to accept.
I’ve already damaged the kitchen worktop, a tile has somehow chipped in the bathroom and I scrubbed white paint off the wall on the first day of moving in, whatcha gonna do?
Throwing tantrums by yourself does not work to the same extent. Whilst I want everything to stay nice forever, accidents do happen and scratching a worktop or chipping a tile doesn’t make something not nice anymore. It shows it’s loved and well lived in. I’ve learned to just move on and be more careful next time.
Lesson 2 Learnt – You Can’t Choose Who Your Neighbours Are
Probably the worst and hardest lesson I have learnt is that you can’t choose your neighbours. Like why is there not a dating app for neighbours yet? I basically don’t hear any neighbour either side as it’s a Georgian house with incredibly thick walls, one saving grace at least. No, I’m talking about them up there.
I don’t want to go into too much detail here, but I have the neighbours from hell, they’re renting so it is temporary, thank god. But it’s been hard. When you work so hard for something for so long and have it ruined/tarnished by people in a second, it makes you wonder why you bothered.
It seems to be something that apartments, houses, all suffer from and if it’s not the neighbours it will be something else. Suddenly living on a remote island by myself seems incredibly appealing.
Luckily for me, these are temporary tenants and not homeowners. So I can sit in my pink armchair here quite smug in the knowledge that they’ll be gone soon, and forget about the last 5 months that I’ve had to endure of them.
Remember, everything is temporary. Bad neighbours don’t take away the lovely home that you have, which is yours.
Lesson 3 Learnt – If You Want A Thing Done Well, Do It Yourself
Okay, so I definitely knew this one already, but it’s been somewhat clarified over the last 6 months. As a 24 year old who knew nothing about buying a home, I suppose I was either naive or misjudged myself that I have a good judge of character. The developer of the property was everything you could have asked for and more. Also promised was that for 6 months they would sort out any little snags. Sooo, yeah about that. I still have a list as long as my arm, and I’m feeling battered down with constantly having to remind, text, call and most often be ignored by said developer.
I do sometimes wonder how people get where they get in business because they have a serious lack of organisation and people skills. This is the person who left dressing furniture in my home on the day I moved and gave me only ONE key to my apartment (I mean the builders), like who even needs a front and back door key, right? Pathetic. Get what they want and then they’re gone. Time has gone on for too long now and I’m going to start taking matters into my own hands. As the saying goes if you want a thing doing well, or even done for that matter, do it yourself. No one is worth my stress anymore, a few things are going to cost, but I can’t be expected to keep hanging off someone’s every words who has a tendency to blow hot air, you don’t fool me love.
Lesson 4 Learnt – Accept Help
When it’s half way through the week, my breakfast dishes are still stacked on the dining table from the last 3 mornings, my bed hasn’t been made in days and my dirty clothes have been dumped on the bathroom floor, I know I need help. An intervention is needed.
I’m not ashamed to admit that I have found it hard since moving out. It’s exhausting. From someone who depended so heavily on my mum to have dinner ready for me when I got in from work, a clean home and clean washing, the adjustment has been hard. As well as all of my other commitments, some days I just can’t be a girl boss anymore. My parents have been a huge help since I moved out and I honestly don’t think I could have managed if I was living away from Plymouth.
It’s okay to accept help when you need it. Sometimes we just need to be mothered again, if only for an evening to reset and help yourself get back on track. I know it will get easier in time and it has. But sometimes, sometimes I just need a meal cooked for me and an evening off washing up the dishes. Having a good support network around you is invaluable and I think I’ve done pretty damn well so far by myself, so here’s to more weeks of not struggling and not leaving all my chores to the weekend..Well, I’m not sure about that one.
I’ve learnt so much in 6 months which has scarily flown past me in no time, I think if I can survive the first 6 months then I can survive anything. Homeownership has been hard, but oh is it worth it when I can curate my own Instagram home of dreams!